A little something you forgot to consider

When you look at the world you see a combination of brilliance and dirt altogether. It makes you want to get out and explore every single part of it, every possible human emotion and at the same time, it makes you want to run to bed and stay there forever. It’s like being in a huge library with a billion books. You wish you’ll choose the most fascinating ones, those that will teach you a lot and make you a wiser person but still… you cannot know the ending in advance. There’s always a risk.  It’s scary – terrifying actually – but I suppose life can give you a few things that are worth the “pain and the aches of the outcoming fortune” in the words of the Danish Prince.

It is incredible that you have all these choices concerning who you want to become and how you want to use your life in order to contribute to society. But what most people forget to mention when they talk about the endless possibilities is risk and fear. The smallest choice you make has outcomes. There’s never a win-win situation. You always have to face consequences, responsibilities and stand up for the path you took and for the person you are today.

We chose friends, behaviors, careers, lovers, places to live in and even ways to approach situations. Every little thing is crucial but there are some choices bigger than others. These are the choices that will change your life. When you stand in front of a choice this big, I tell you, it’s scary. Nobody mentions that. Everyone goes on and on about doing the right thing but… when you’re actually standing a step away from opening one door or another, you can’t see “right” or “wrong”. You can only see the regret at the end of each way and you’re afraid of it. There are paths that guarantee security and others that involve greater risk.

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Making the step is hard. But no matter what you have been thinking so far, no matter what all the voices around you have been going on and on about, you have to take a step back and put yourself in the microscope. I don’t mean endless hours of worrying and re-thinking – which is something I am guilty of, to be honest – but to really stand across your deepest desire and ask yourself “Where do you want to go?”.

This process is usually so hard because we forget to keep in mind the fear that goes with it. It’s what we forget to consider when we make plans. Fear is usually a huge part of our choices but it shouldn’t be. Go with your gut. There is an instinct inside every one of us, we’ve just learned to ignore it over the years while trying to rationalize everything.

Remember back when you were a kid? You took one look at a person and you knew if you liked them or not. You went to ballet lessons for a week to find out you want to quit and then you tried piano and Italian and none of those were right for you. You knew and you were not afraid to admit you changed your mind. Nobody would call you a loser. Then, you finally tried tennis or playing the tuba and it was fun. You couldn’t see the time to go to practice. That’s what we suppress over the years, our pure instincts. We learn to like what we should like but, how will we ever be happy if we don’t risk walking the road our heart tells us it leads to happiness?

Charles Bukowski said “Go all the way” and he was right. If you don’t go all the way, you’ll never know. It takes a huge amount of courage to stop thinking of every little thing that can go wrong and focus on your pure desire. Don’t be afraid of it. Take a step on the path your heart points at. There must be some reason. Show it some trust and you’ll eventually find out why it took you there.

Have a magical day,

glance at the sky

by Elena Ktenopoulou

Midsummer insomnia accompanied by a symphony of thunders

just a recommendation: listen to Message Personnel by Francoise Hardy while reading

There’s something erotic about rain in July. It’s been raining all day. It’s never enough… All along I’ve had a fear. From the moment it begun… What if it never rains again? What if the land dries from the cruelty of the sun?

I wanted to go to bed. I have a lot to do tomorrow but there’s no chance for that. I tried. The sound of it keeps me awake. I can’t keep myself inside. Maybe if I pulled my bed in the balcony, it would work but… it’s heavy and I won’t miss this smell for a few hours of sleep.

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For the first fifteen years of my life I hated the rain. What wonderful moments I missed not enjoying this… If you are a person who can appreciate things that provide you with good company such as music, a pen, pillows and chamomile, then you surely know the value of the smell and the sound of rain. But in the summer that value is instantly doubled. We are, after all humans, the greediest of animals. We need to miss something in order to appreciate it. And when it arrives just for a night and you have no idea how long it will be until it comes back, you don’t risk missing a minute of it. You stay awake to take it all in.

Maybe if we saw everything like this storm, we would be happy. Some great philosopher back in the times of Renaissance, whose name I can’t recall, said that happiness is only a matter of imagination. He claimed that we can only create it for ourselves. Is this it? How close can a sudden July storm be to answering the great mysteries of life? I guess very close or… not at all. It depends…

I’m sorry if that was all boring but I had a shitty day and great expectations – as I always do –  but none of them met reality – as they always do –  and I was sad and a unbearably lazy but still after all… it rained.

How could I not shout it to the world? Have a magical night


glance at the sky

by Elena Ktenopoulou