You may walk home one night. On your way there you may begin to think of things that have passed. Memory is a tricky thing. It comes alive with any trigger at any moment. Memory works in mysterious ways. It holds and it releases but it is not completely under our control. There is something uncontrollable, something almost wild about it. It surprises you. It brings back things you thought you’d left behind. But do we ever? Do we ever leave things behind or is every experience a part of who we are as much as an arm and a foot. Is past experience our body in a non-physical way?
Some experiences we chose. Some experience we go through without a choice but both shape us. They shape us into what we become, which is usually not what we want to become nor what we think others see us becoming. As there is always that ongoing misconception of what we think others think of us and what they actually see us as, which is always influenced by our own perception of ourselves.
Memory plays a big role in that because of past experiences that make our perception of the world, others and ourselves what it is. If I’m always used to be the outsider, for example, I might label myself that when faced with a new situation and take on that role because it’s what I know. Not because I “deserve” to be there.
We put ourselves in situations unconsciously and keep thinking they somehow happen to us. The same story follows us around like a curse. It’s not a curse, I assure you! The patterns that keep forming in our lives are constantly dependant on our actions and choices. When we are used to acting in one specific way, the chances are, the same result will occur. Of course, it is not definite. It’s life, it’s unpredictable. Nor we need to change ourselves if we don’t want to.
But if you really don’t like something, try a different approach. Put yourself in a different role in the situation and it might…it just might have a different effect on you this time.
Change is difficult but change is good so… go on!